The Art of Showing Up

It's snowing outside. Yesterday I was in 70's and doing an afternoon run. Today, I shoveled snow and so thankful for electric throw blankets. And of course the highest gratitude that I have for a roof over my head and heat. Always remember what you have.

And for the song that is my favorite right now. Like on repeat. Forever.

Castles


So, let's begin to discuss the art of showing up. This is something that has been on my mind for some time. Especially in the last couple of months actually. Showing up is a big freaking deal. Showing up for yourself and others to honestly realizing when you don't, but yet you think you do. Let's break it down into categories, shall we? (That's rhetorical, I am going to do it...)

I recently had someone commenting and complimenting me on showing up. Making the good effort and the good fight. It's in every fiber of my being. Not only was I raised to show up, to finish what I started and to stand by my words, but to represent someone who would help others. My parents are both examples of this. Of course this has manifested itself into my being in many ways and luckily has only grown stronger as I entered endurance sports. A-type triathletes have enough gumption to rule the world. And we will, with Beyonce.

Showing up in your own life:
This is big. If you haven't had to pull yourself up, re-evaluate your decisions and the direction of your life, are you even living? No. Life is about taking those chances, learning from the failures and I use the mantra I use in racing-Just keep moving forward. People will let you down, break up with you, end partnerships, give you feedback that you can learn from and at times think is complete horse poop, but what you chose to learn and take away is up to you. Remember, you decide what you will hold close. My first female boss/mentor gave me the greatest advice-feedback is a gift. However, another mentor, Brene Brown, advised the best saying I love and it is this: "If you aren't in the arena with me to get your ass kicked, then I am not interested in your feedback on my work or my life." Say it again. Say it one more time. Just because someone has an opinion of you or gives you feedback does NOT mean it's valid. That it's worthy. That it's something you should hold dear. Look at the source, or better yet, if it's not coming from a direct source but a second or third party...move on sister. Ain't nobody got time for that. We only have the conversations with the people who show up.

We all wake up each day and decide how to view the day and how we interact with the energy given to us and we must own the energy we give out. It's hard to wake up and feel a sense of no direction. A sense of sadness and a sense of loss. But, this is when it's time to serve others. I swear to you even a donation pile of shit that no longer holds value and donating it will change your spirit. Go for that walk. Read that book. Clean that area. Sleep in. Binge that Netflix series. Write your goals down. Showing up in your life is moving forward each day. Baby steps or huge freaking leaps. It's your life. I am a list person, so putting lists in my phone and crossing them off, even the simplest task give me a sense of accomplishment. It's amazing how putting laundry in makes you feel like you're getting shit done. Wake up and be loud. Be quiet. Be. Keep learning. Ask questions. Know at the end of the day, you showed up to move the needle in your life, even if it's only you that knows this. That.is.enough. I have had many seasons of showing up in my own life. It's taught me to embrace the hustle. It means new adventures, new relationships and new experiences.

Showing up for others:
This is a big one for me. I can't tell you how many times I have reached out to someone (and I am usually the one doing it) only to get no response but then see them on IG shooting like 1 million stories. That is not a good feeling. It's like you can be on social media but can't see how a friend is doing or even just shoot a text for coffee. Then it's all about them, their product, their life....that is such a small place to live. Like suffocating actually. What are you selling? Honestly, when you don't show up for others, your friends, you are selling your self short and hurting people in the process. Think about that. If you are constantly on your phone and yet, can never text back and can never reach out, then what value are you holding to yourself or to others? Hard truth, right? Social media has so many great things about it, but if you always make it about you and have it hold so much space in your life, you are doing it wrong my friend. So wrong.

My old cross country coach instilled in us that when we passed others on the course, we always said good job. It's not only the right thing to do, but also motivates the other person and you have a sense of togetherness on the course. This is something I hold dear to me today and is always in my spirit when racing. I say it when I pass people and I actually do love it when other's say it to me when they pass me. I did this in the Montana Marathon recently, not only on the course, but after. I drove the route later when the 6 hour marathoners are out there and cheered them from my car, then went to the finish to cheer in the last remaining runners. Cheer for freaking people, people! In life and sport. In both people are gritting it out and you being there is everything.  I recently did this again for an older gentleman running the entire Wolf Creek Relay and gave him water at stops after my turn and we cheered our butts off for him. Surround yourself with others who show up. I didn't know any of these people. But, in showing up for them, I showed up for me. Remember that reciprocated feeling of serving others I mentioned earlier, it's true. Cheering for others in any situation will raise your energy. I always say, be someones moment. Do it.

I also do this for my community. I care about those around me and coordinate neighborhood meet ups. Advocate for better facilities and safer streets. I listen to concerns from task force meetings. I shovel walks so they are clean those walking in my neighborhood (my dad is probably reading that over and over again. Manual labor is not my jam...). I see if other's need help if they are broken down. I pet all the dogs. Do the things.

Showing up to the table:
I once was told this about yoga. There are teachers and then there are instructors. So true. I have cried in yoga when teachers are guiding the class. I have looked at the clock with instructors. Same with other aspects in your life. The other saying is there are bosses/supervisors and then there are leaders. The female mentor I mentioned earlier gave me some hard growth early on in my career. But, it shaped me so profoundly. One of the things she said to me was "I want you to be a leader and will help you get there." And she did. She wanted everyone to be a leader. Key word is everyone. She gave me the tools, she allowed me to seek out other tools and gave me a voice at the table. Another Brene Brown philosophy. Everyone should have a voice at the table, however, everyone at the table doesn't necessarily deserve to be there. Following? Okay. We have all had supervisors, executives or managers at the table, making the decisions and trying to lead the best they can. But, what if they aren't growing, honing their own skills (communication, managing, accountability, leadership development..), then what? It's not enough to have a title and to sit at the table. Actually Chris Hogan, a great speaker on leadership says titles actually don't matter. And they don't. You can have a fancy title and be a poor communicator and/or leader. The title or the group doesn't make the team. I actually had this talk with another mentor of mine. She is someone who exudes leadership, listening, growing and showing up. And is a VP in her company-which is well known. We discussed what if those at your table aren't growing, learning and developing skills that will not only improve themselves and the company and ultimately those around them. Then what? That's when showing up itself is not enough. Having a seat and then making decisions but not up-leveling yourself, is not enough. It's not enough for you, for your organization or your colleagues. And yes, everyone feels this way. And yes, everyone notices.

Invite members of your community and neighborhood to the table. I am working on getting to know my neighbors more. I am involved in task forces and most recently invited my neighbors on NextDoor to meet for coffee. Let's bring community back. Let's wave, talk to each other and look out for each other. Justin Timberlake brought sexy back, I am trying to bring community back one coffee at a time. Show up for your neighbors. Introduce yourself. I love living near a park because so many community events are held there and I love just popping down to see what's up and meet new people. Show up for strangers and make them friends. Be approachable. Do the approaching. Ignite the conversation. Fuel the community. Build that sense of partnership in your neighborhood.

So, show up for yourself and others. Connect with people. Don't forget you are your brand. Listen. Invite people to your table. Hear them. Share stories. It will change you. I promise. And as always, you do you.