The Gift Of Running

I often hear how sport has changed or saved someone's life.  I would understand this only on the surface level of emotion, until it did just that for me.  The sport was running.  The year was 2013.  I think of this time fondly and hold it sacred.

But, before I get into how training for the NYCM was a journey that changed my world, new song.

Sit Still, Look Pretty


I am going to share a poem that came across my computer this week.  It inspired this post and this picture of my shoes situation.

Hello, love. I got you a present. Oh, I hope you like it! I thought it would be perfect for you. It looks small, but don’t assume. Go on, open it!

It is a Mountain - for you to stand tall, proud, and confident on.
It is a Voice - for you to use when you need to speak your mind.
It is Truth - for you to live by, day in and day out.
It is Humility - for you to admit your weaknesses and wrongdoings.
It is Friendship - to connect to others over your shared passion.
It is Generosity - for when you want to share yourself with the world.
It is a Sob - for when your world brings you to your knees.
It is a Scream - for when your rage consumes you and demands to be released.
It is Gratitude - for when your heart swells so big with love you’re afraid it will burst.

.....What’s that?
Oh, I know all these presents LOOK like a pair of sneakers, but trust me on this one. 

Running is a gift, because it can be anything you need it to be.

I still have the hot pink Asics Nimbus that I ran the NYCM in the pile of shoes I own by my door (under the second set of shoes-HA).  I keep them for many reasons.  I keep them because they carried me on a journey that I never expected to be on.  They carried me to a finish line that was 20 some weeks in the making.  They gave me hope. They listened when I complained and helped me keep going when I didn't think I had anything left in the tank.  They healed my heart and soul and eventually taught me to fall in love again....with my self.

I know I have mentioned this in previous posts, but just to recap.  I had watched the NYCM on the TV for years and had entered the lottery and not got in 2 times.  Beginning of 2013, I made my first vision board beginning of 2013.  I had cut these shoes out, the Asic Nimbus in hot pink, because I liked them.  At the time I was a Brooks runner.  Didn't think much of it.  Also, in 2013 my contract with my job ended.  Also, it was the end of a relationship with a guy that I thought could be my last relationship.  That was a slow death, but nonetheless, very painful.  Not so much the end, but the end of what I envisioned for my world.  I was sad, scared and crumbled.  This was March.  In May, I went in to my local running store and said I needed a change.  Everything around me was changing, why not my running shoe.  I walked out with-yep you guessed it, the hot pink Asic Nimbus.  I had only realized a while later that this was the shoe on my vision board.  Two and half weeks later I was accepted into the NYCM.  Amazing that two months earlier I had no direction...of anything.  And now I could focus on training and my Masters.  I did take a break from work during this time and just trained.  Knowing that kind of opportunity would not present itself again in the future for a long time.

I began running and training.  My heart and world still a little shaky.  But, I documented the process and people began following it and rooting for me.  For the first time I was called inspiring.  I was just out there putting in miles and chasing healing.  I remember telling my friend Tami that I was learning to love myself again and feel strong.  She gave me a word for this time-Surrender.  For an A type personality, that was a lesson in itself.  But, I focused on it.  A pair of running shoes created more possibilities than I could have ever imagined.  Each week I started to believe in myself and that I could reach that finish line.  My body changed without me really thinking of it.  My soul shined and heart healed.  I was a different girl at the end of that training.  Stronger.  Happier.  Goal Setter.

This trail is right outside my house.  No filter.  Montana is for Badasses.

My favorite pair of shoes has done all the things listed in the poem above and so much more.  That is why I keep the sneakers and wear them.  To be proud.  To remember how far I have come.  To remind me that possibilities are endless, if we just take the first step.