#AnnaBucketList18-April Zion Half Marathon

It's always a good time to write about spring when snow has finally hit the ground (enter sarcastic tone). But, life happens and that is a good thing, at least for me this year. So, alas, I give you April's bucket list moments.

But, first, a song I love and is always on my playlists. Imagine the main beat as you are cresting a hill and the valley opens infront of you. You're welcome.

Take it all back

I have done a couple of half marathon vacation races in the past-Yellowstone National Park and Glacier National Park. So, last summer I wanted to cross off Zion National Park off my list. It's a place that I have always wanted to go and plus, I get a medal-what is better than that? My friend Diedra said she would partake in my craziness, as she often does and we decided to make it a girl's trip!

My colleague Jenny told me that Zion has this great energy and she was not wrong. I could feel it once we started to drive closer. Diedra and I met in Bozeman, since it has half way for us, then we headed down the next morning. Anyone who knows me, knows I love a good road trip with Red Bull and a cool destination. Our plan was to alternate every two hours of driving.We stopped on the way there in Farmington, Utah for a couple reasons. 1. There was a lululemon store and 2. even though I knew my IG friend Kenzi wasn't in town, it was cool to go there and see her picture (she is an ambassador, badass trail runner and a sarcastic human-all the things I love.) I grabbed a quick pic and a new skirt and we hit the road again!

We made it to La Verkin. I booked us at The Best Western Plus-Zion West. I always try to stay at Best Western because of points, duh, but also I have never had a bad experience there and I travel a lot.....like a lot, a lot. There was a great pool and hot tub, room was big and it's right on the road to travel to the park. And when I checked in, for being a high roller at Best Western, they gave me a great snack bag with treats and water. Great life decision.

Once we checked in, I went for a little shake out run. This also gives me a chance to explore. And the best part of this hotel is that it's snuggled up to a little neighborhood that has horses, goats, llamas and donkeys. That alone was a amazing. Then I came back and we headed down to the pool/hot tub to chill out. And I made new friends. I love making new friends. I met a couple who gave us tips on what hikes to do (this is when I learned Diedra is afraid of heights...noted). Then I met another couple that was there hiking from Victoria, B.C. I told them I was going to race there in June for IM 70.3. Then Diedra and I went in an watched free cable.

The next morning we got up, got our eggs and headed to the expo! We checked in and grabbed some goodies. These expos are smaller in nature, which is nice because it's low key and not a frenzy. I also love these races because you have to carry your own liquid, they don't do cups to dump on the ground. I love that!

Then we went inside the park to explore. Zion is smaller than our Montana National Parks, but the energy and scenery are just as equally amazing. We took pictures and explored then headed into town for lunch. We also moved hotels, so we needed to unpack and get ready for the race morning. Then we ventured out for dinner and then you guessed it, back to the room for free cable.

Race day! They changed the course this year due to construction, as I believe this course is partly on trails and then partly on road. This year it was all on trail, like soft clay colored powdered trail. In a two loop pattern through a prairie, that included cows. We headed out early and climbed to the parking. Got situated, headed to the start, used the bathrooms (I always have to pee, multiple times and never enough before the race starts usually...). We took pictures and got in our wave to start and as luck would have it, the two ladies ahead of us were from Montana as well and we talked about the Run to the Pub. Then we were off. Diedra and I don't run together-she is faster. But, we always meet at the end. It was a good and hard race. With the hills and elevation, I wonder why I do these things, oh yeah, a banana and a medal...oh that pushing yourself to do and see new things..... Around mile 8 again my stomach felt odd (this had been happening on training runs, later I would learn I need to mix my nutrition in a bigger bottle then pour in a smaller hand held bottle so it's not so concentrated). On the second loop I did stop to pee. See. And on the last stretch a cow ran in front of us which was a nice distraction from the big freaking sharp hill coming at us. I mean they had people there helping you up it. Because it was high and sharp and at mile 12. When your legs just hate their human. But, I finished and was dirty, but happy. We both did great. Not my fastest, but well earned.

Garmin stats!

We headed back to the room to shower the dirty clay off us and then we grabbed our medals and headed out to go explore the park and maybe do an easy hike and take cool pics with our medals, as one does. We did a nice little hike to the Emerald Pools. My legs were a little shot but it felt good to stretch them out. On the bus back we met new friends again! We ended up having dinner with them at   the Zion Brewery. They were from the south and were super fun! It was nice to have a beer and food with them and just shows that runners are the funnest people and the nicest. We then got a ride to our car and then Deidra and I went back to our room, to unwind and you guessed it, watch free cable.

The next morning, we headed to the park to see if we could do a couple more hikes. I naively thought we could do the first little bit of Angel's Landing and then go do The Narrows. I was wrong. The guy at the gear shop said you really should do one for the day. And since walking in the water in The Narrows was another of my bucket list items and Diedra wanted to do that too, plus she wasn't a fan of heights, it seemed like a no brainer. The day before our new friends told us to get the gear, it's worth it. Mainly because you get special boots that have grippers on the bottom and waders because in parts the water can be high. Oh and a big ass walking stick, like Gandalf. We suited up, which was a process itself. Then lined up for the bus to catch to take us there. We walked down the path to the water.

It was everything I thought it would be. I love water so hiking in water through beautiful scenery was amazing. We climbed over rocks and at one point the water was to our chest. It was serene. I took one picture where I am looking up and I captioned it "Make sure you do things that make you feel small, yet mighty." And I actually was reached out to by a couple photography people on it. But, it's true. I created this bucket list movement along with You Do You because it's important to explore places and do your thing while experiencing it. Find things that take your breath away. That make you feel small, yet mighty.

We hiked in about 3 miles in and then laid on a big boulder and ate lunch and just breathed it in. Then we hiked through the water back and just kept looking up in awe of being in such a beautiful place. I am glad I experienced this with a good friend. And I am glad we had the shoes and waders so we weren't getting wet and slipping around the place. Plus, it was fun using the stick and saying "You shall not pass."

                                     

We finished up, turned in our gear. Ate at the Zion Brewery and cheered to a successful trip with our beers and then went back and hot tubed. And then went and packed up since we were leaving early in the morning, then we watched free cable. In the morning, we drove off in sunrise back to Montana and back to reality with our hearts full and Red Bull coursing through my veins.

Thank you Zion for giving me an incredible adventure and I will definitely be back for more!

Until next time, remember to #exploremore and as always, you do you.

If you want to check out more photos from 6 months ago or more recent adventures, check out my IG
@irish_tri_runner 

Cheers!

#AnnaBucketList18-March-Goodbye Helena.

Well, March has certainly came and gone. There are many reasons this post has been delayed, but mainly because it was a big life move. And it needed processing....and a lot of boxes.

But, first this song. I am digging this right now.

White Flag


Where to begin? Let's start here. It really started in the fall of 2016. That urge. The nudge. You know what I am talking about. That feeling that you want more, need more and dare I say it...you need change. Change is scary even when your natural setting doesn't change at all. Little did I know that the first little nudge would come only a month after that first feeling I had. This slight tapping came in the form of AAA laying off people. This was the first glimpse that universe was trying to tell me something. Was this my chance to become a change agent in my own life? I applied to places I dared to dream of out of grad school. I applied to other places I wanted to live in Montana-Missoula and Bozeman. I kept pushing forward as well to stay in Helena. Also, I was ignoring the little niggle that I need to leave Helena. But, I had a routine, a fish, a horse and trails for days. Plus, my childhood best friend lived here and her three rascals and my porch overlooked a community garden and Mt. Helena. I would need more than a niggle of change and therefore proceeded to really focus on staying in Helena.

My persistence paid off. I landed a job at the state that I thought I would really love. It combined my love for planning with travel. I was excited....and yet cautious. I have never had a job I loved more in the state when I worked for Governor Schweitzer. And the small stint I had after that felt stifling. And  since that time with the Governor, I had gone to grad school, started writing and focused on my creativity, my voice and helping others along the way. I was nervous that an office in government, no matter what the job would try to throw dirt on that fire. And it did.

The job itself was amazing. I liked my team, I liked being the storyteller of the state I loved and I had incredible experiences. But I will say this. A person in a management position does not make them a leader. And I will leave it there. I could slowly feel my voice leave and feel fear and anxiety creep in on a daily basis and I could see this in my direct team. They also felt they had no voice...no value...no creative input. And I will leave it there. But, I will say this. You decide how you will treat people and how you own your brand. And at the end of the day, people leave bosses, they don't leave jobs. I was applying for other jobs by Thanksgiving.

On New Years Eve I decided to take a page out of the spirit junkie handbook and my best friend and I made intentions we wanted to take into 2018 and shit we didn't want to take into 2018. For more on that-see my blog post about getting your shit together was so last year. On January 2nd, that fear and anxiety ended. Just walking in the office again took a bit of my soul. And that was my last day. Ripped off like a bandaid. Why not start immediately with not taking the crap you don't want in 2018 and letting it go. I immediately felt relief and went to my best friends house to eat dip. Hey, we each handle our own stuff our own way, and this dip tho....

Now what? I started freelancing. I kept going to therapy. I slept the fuck in. And I started hustlin'. I set goals both professionally and personally. And then the nudge came again. This time a little bit stronger. I looked at where I am going with my life and what do I want out of it. I mean, I was staring down the barrel of 40 this year. I was about to hit my half way life mark (okay, maybe that is 50). And I started the process again of looking at where do I want to live and what do I want to do. I knew this-I wanted to work in a place that I felt valued, had a voice and could be creative AF and use my skills of communication and public relations. I also knew I wanted new experiences...and I was beginning to feel like I was in a rut. A rut? Gah. That's hard to say about your life. My routine and surroundings had become too comfortable. Too routine. I wasn't growing, I wasn't meeting new people anymore and I wasn't cultivating new experiences where I was living. But, once again I worked hard to stay in Helena. I love the town and the location. And I did find something and as soon as I found it, it was gone. That was a gut punch...but after I caught my breath, wiped the tears and picked myself off the ground...it was a gut check.

Around this time I headed to Billings for my father's birthday. And I needed to lick my wounds. And I needed a new view...literally and figuratively. I hung out with my dad and my mom. I then decided to meet with my friend Jennifer Mercer. Over wine and ice cream-because, life, she mentioned to me that I should look into Billings. I had honestly never thought about it. I always looked at western Montana or Helena or places like Oregon or British Columbia. I know, it may seem odd. Later that day I looked around and found two jobs I would be interested in and one remote position in Billings. I talked to my parents and then headed back to Helena, but not before each parent gave me a slice of advice as side with my eggs.

Upon my return to Helena, I devised a list and a plan...and made sure my Starbucks app was up to date, as this is where I set up my writing work space and now it was ground zero. I would head there with my Mac and a mission. Life will knock you down but it's how you get back up that matters. I applied at the places that appealed to me, as well conquered other items to set the world right...however only a few know of those and that is way it will be for some time.

I was attending a small business conference in Helena with two of my friends and I got a call from one of the places. I will sum this up quickly-I had a phone call with the strategic director, then another with the owner, then another call was set up. These two calls were imperative in pointing me in the right direction and told me this was the right place for me. Simple words that I said in my life were being echoed in the tone and tenor of these calls. Words that the spirit junkie in me connected with and that the universe was saying this is your calling. So, the next phone call turned into a meeting, as I would be in Billings anyway. At this meeting I met part of the team and ultimately was offered the job. I was given two start dates-in two weeks or four weeks. They were very understanding that I was moving a life and closing a chapter. Even when all signs point in a direction-the right direction, it is hard to leave some of my favorite people and horse. Yes, that horse and I have had a bond since 2013, so yes, the horse was hard as hell to leave. I always put a Christmas card in the owners mailbox and upon leaving I put a picture of the horse and I in the mailbox and gave my contact information in so they could reach me if something were to happen to him.

My horse when I was saying goodbye and I love him. He did this. We still have carrots and catch up when I visit!

After I met with key stakeholders in the community and tapped into what the triathlon community looks like here, such as: Is there a bike group? An outdoor long course pool? A Masters group? Running and biking routes for long training? I took the job and decided on the two week route. I packed up my life within a week essentially and waved goodbye to the moving truck. I kept an air mattress, a camping chair, my bike, a few clothes, my coffee maker and of course a plate and bowl-which I never used because I was saying goodbye to everyone over meals. But, I loved living like this. And I have too much shit..but that is another post.

It was hard to leave Helena. It had my favorite views, running routes and cycling loops. I became a marathoner and an Ironman living there. But, alas, I tapped out my growth there, both personally and professionally. I needed a different space and a different place to grow. And that is okay. In fact, it's more than okay to recognize that and then do something about it. And more importantly it's valuable to know your worth, both financially and spiritually. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you're worth less than you are. Ever.

And just like that, I became a Billings resident again. I have big plans for you Billings and amazing people to connect with here.

P.s. I know it's now July, but with training for a big race and a new job and a life change, other things have taken priority. Thanks for sticking with me.

Remember to explore more, think outside of the box and always live in the you do you vibe.

#AnnaBucketList18-January and February

Holy heck. What a ride the first part of the year has been. That alone will be it's own blog post. And when I went to go write on my bucket list for February, I realized that I never wrote January. I honestly haven't been slacking at life, just my writing. Life has trumped writing these last few months and I could feel it-that I hadn't wrote or journaled the way I would normally. So sorry folks!

But before we begin recapping, here is the song I am digging right now:

Cannonball

Ok, so let's get to it.

So January I was able to catch the skijoring series as it came through Helena. I worked on the content/writing for the winter 2018 campaign for the Montana Office of Tourism, so I was intrigued by this partnership of a horse and a skier doing jumps and tricks for points. Check out the story and episode here. Beginning of January, the skijoring series came to Helena Fairgrounds, which is just a stone's throw from my place. Well, it is if you are a really good outfielder...ok, maybe not, but it's like only 3 blocks away. I can literally see the fairgrounds from my bedroom window.

Right away I could see the appeal. I walked in and there was a concession stand selling hotdogs, treats and beer. There were people lined up and down the course, as well as people in the stands. I snuck in an open spot ready to watch the action. Montana is great-you can go to any crazy event like this and instantly be friends with the spectators next to you. The athleticism in this event is nuts. First, you rider and horse are working as a team to go as fast as they can, while the skier behind them is maneuvering up and down slopes and hills and "climbing the rope" to get the best possible position. The rider and horse from the episode menitoned earlier was even there, so that was super cool to him in action.

                                             

Of course, with the speed and hills, there were crashes. That's part of the game. But, as each rider and skier came out for this winter rodeo of sorts, music blared and the crowd cheered. One guy lost a ski and skied the rest on the one ski. It was an afternoon well spent watching the multiple rounds of every team. Even one skier reached out to me on Instagram to get a copy of photos and video. Check out these pics and videos below. If you have a chance next winter to catch a skijoring event across the state, I highly recommend it!

                                         

                                         

Oh hey February!

February I crossed two items of my bucket list. The first was meeting Meredith Atwood or better known to those in the triathlon world as SwimBikeMom. Her Instagram and website have gained national attention and loyal followers. Meredith has always been an advocate for women in this sport from all shapes, sizes, abilities and backgrounds. She is a fierce fighter for that. More importantly, she  is relatable and approachable because she started this journey after starting her own family and being in a job that was unfulfilling and looking at her own life for a sense of purpose. We can all relate, right? She has written books, blogs and has her own apparel line. But, she doesn't get caught up in that. She doesn't believe in social media promoting "teams or squads" on social media. And if her "why" isn't there for a race, she doesn't feel obligated to suit up.

I met her when she came to a triathlon clinic. This clinic was geared towards beginners, but I really wanted to meet her and you can always learn something. And my friend Kathleen was going and wanted to support that-plus my friend Amy came up from Bozeman. I loved her approach to newbies and the sport of triathlon. I love her story and transformation and just generally loved her approach to all things-so kind and humble and stripped of all the bullshit. Later that night we all went for drinks and I was able to get to know her more. She is the same person across from you with a beer as she is when she is presenting. Nothing to hide, everything to share and ready to listen. It was a honor meeting her and now calling her a friend. Oh and she is making her way to a plant based athlete!

My other item is Cotton Top Pasteries opening in Helena. I mean, who doesn't want to support a local place that makes delicious treats and has their opening on Valentines Day. Supporting them on their first day, buying a cookie and scone, on Valentines Day is definitely supporting self love and of course overall GNP. #AmIRight

So, these are a few of my #annabucketlist18 items from the first couple months of 2018. As always, explore more and always remember, you do you.

Having your shit together was so last year..or maybe even the year before

Oh, hey 2018! This is a big year, for many reasons. But, mainly this is the year I will turn 40. I know, right?! WTH. All those years of being the youngest in the class (I don't turn 40 until September) such as being 13 going to high school and college at 17, are now paying off as I see all my friends and classmates head into this new decade first-ha!

But, first this song that gives all the feels lately and the video is super fun

Into the Wild

I swear once I entered January my body new this was a big year. I have had back issues and ribs issues. I have seen my active relief chiropractor more in the last month than I have in the last four. And who knew that cartilage from ribs being out would take the longest to heal or maybe it's that old age thing? The upside is also this last month people have thought I was 26 to 34. I contribute this to my plant lifestyle-ish, being active, napping and kid free lifestyle-ha! 

But, something else has become clear as well this month. No one I know has their shit together in our age group +/-five years. And yes, I mean everyone-and yes I am looking at you too. I would go so far that most people don't have their shit together the way they would like. But, for my research I will stick to those close to me in age. Most of the individuals in my close and far circle of friends do not have their shit together. From living at home, divorce, unemployment to heading into second careers, back to school, living paycheck to paycheck, not enough 401 k and having one more kid than they wanted..er planned.  

My social feeds are full of people not having their shit together and of people looking like they have their shit together. You can put all the filters you want on your life, but at night you have to live in it. My therapist told me this week I need to sit in uncomfortableness at times. I have the mentality that when things get hard and sticky that I just want to push forward and not feel bad. I will go outside, coffee with a friend or anything to keep moving forward and find positivity. So, real talk, I had to sit with some hard shit lately. Some painful shit. And my first reaction was to right away and keep pushing forward and while I was doing that I wanted to watch a comedy. But, then I remembered her words. And I decided to watch the most dramatic and saddest movie and be in that moment and decided to sit with my unbelief, sadness and pain for a few days. As my friend Amy said, "You need to get through it to get to it" or something like that-Ha. Admitting life sucks at times is not being negative, it's being truthful. 

I also went through a major health scare this month. My mammogram showed some concern and the doctor called me. I have had a mammogram for six years and I never get a call, so I know it wasn't a good sign. I have a history of breast cancer in my family and every year with trepidation I get one. As I headed back to the imaging center that same day of the call, the X-ray tech showed me the spot that was concerning. And I could see it. I could see why they called me back. I could feel my heart stop. They did additional imaging and the doctor was in and she took the images back and asked me to hold still. She came back and said he wants an ultrasound. I did the ultrasound. I could feel the pressure of the spot they were looking at. Then I waited for the call. In the meantime I called my close friends and mom. I wanted to wait for the results before I told my father. On the drive over to my friends house after the second appointment I thought "I may not even have my health anymore." Then I swore of any soda and dips...but then I told myself to get real, I am never giving up dips-ha. The doctor called the next day and said the ultrasound cleared up any concern. It was a piece of fibrous tissue and no concern and to have a regular mammogram next year. I was at the gym. I got on the treadmill and hit the fastest button and ran and cried. Then I realized I was making the crying noises and really had to pull my shit together and get out of the gym. Later I also got a second opinion on the images just to be safe-same clear result. So, January has been a little bit of a bitch, but not like Tom Brady little bitch, so I can deal. 

Before the end of the year, I asked friends if they could define 2018 with one word, what would it be? This is what they said:

• Confidence
• Change
• Hopeful
• Determination
• Rebirth-that is mine

These are all from strong women. All from women who are undergoing life changes because they were not where they wanted to be. See, no one has their shit together. So, stop being so hard on yourself and comparing yourself. I have done a lot of comparing this month and it has made it worse and what has made it better is remembering my #youdoyou attitude and for others sharing their stories. Our generation is constantly changing and seeking challenges and ways to be better and that is either through fitness, books, life/job changes or relationship changes. The old ways of having a career for 20-30 years is not us. Being married for 50 plus years is not us (although sometimes sadly), but we shouldn't stick in a situation where we can't grow. I am there myself and probably having a mid life crisis as I write this. #sorrynotsorry

So, remember as we head into this year that shit happens. Life is hard and sad and painful. But, life can be beautiful and full of love and not fear. But, sometimes you need to be on your bathroom or kitchen floor crying and sending vibes to the universe for direction or letting go and letting it guide you (that is the spirit junkie in me). We make mistakes. We fail. We have anxiety and stress. And it's okay to sit in that for awhile and learn from it. Having your shit together is an unattainable goal really. We can only strive to do better.

While you figure your shit out, remember to live in the moment, travel and always, you do you.

Anna

#AnnaBucketList17-End of Year

This winter storm, stuck in your house kind of thing happening right now had me stressing out a little bit. I really had no where to go (although, I always like the option of leaving my house if I wanted, especially for an americano), but I was starting to feel trapped. Then I remembered I could catch up on so many things: putting my Christmas things away (or at least in the spare bedroom considering there is many feet of snow outside), reading, Netflix binging, hoping on the trainer and last, but not least, my blog.

I know it's the second to last day of the year (can I get a hallelujah!), but what better way to finish out this years bucket list wrap up. First I want to say how awesome it is that many of you have been inspired by the need to experience things and places, to make memories and to create your own bucket list-I am grateful for your kind words.

Here is the song I am digging currently:

You Can Run

So after Hawaii has been a blur. First was the after vacation reset-it's hard to get back into the vibe of work and life after a vacation. It's true-you need a vacation after vacation. #AmIRight Then was the holidays and my work/family life became my focus for the last two months. Alas, with this season of the year of holiday parties, traveling for holidays and winter wonderlands, I really had two main bucket list items. One per month, really.

November

In November, I wanted to see Nutcracker on the Rocks. I went with my really good friend Adrienna. I love ballet and have seen the original Nutcracker many times. So, I wanted to see what this was about. I will tell you it was interesting. Yep, that is all I have. It was good to see what it was about and experience it, but it's definitely checked off, if you know what I mean.

December

This bucket list item isn't a place. Rather it's an act. Probably one of the hardest, forgiveness. It's some hard shit, right? It is if you really dig deep with yourself. It's a process I have been working on for a year and half. Sometimes it takes a bit to process and that is okay. It's okay not to immediately forgive someone who has repeatedly hurt and lied to you and your family. It also took that long because I wanted to see if this person was on the right track for reals-not the up and down shit my family has been through. I gave up finally after several lies and hurtful things this person has done and stopped talking to him after he did something I thought it was the straw that broke the camels back. This person is my brother. If you want a little more background -read the post "Lessons from my brother"for context. But, that is all that I will share. I do write honestly and raw about my experiences and life, but I do want to protect other's stories at a certain point. I last spoke to my brother December 2015. I was just done. Also, read "Guarding My Joy" post. I was okay with others not being done, but I was done. I needed to go through my own process of being angry, betrayed and protective of my mother. It took me at least six months to mention his name to my mother. And my brother had to go through his own powerful processes of sorts. A journey he needed to take a long time ago and fully complete and immerse himself in. He did that. He showed me progress in the simplest things-birthday cards, texts and so on. And yet, I needed still more time. Remember your timeline is not defined by others. There was a point that my timeline and boundaries did upset my mother, but she understood. 

So, six months ago I started my process of forgiving. To heal the wounds that had been created. But, also to stop nailing my brother to the cross on shit he was trying to make better and move forward. That not only impedes him, but stales my own growth. I saw him for the first time this last Christmas. And it was good to see him. I felt like a piece of me was back and peace was restored in a way. Because at the end of the day it's important that everyone feels loved, wanted and most importantly, safe. I had an idea of things I needed before forgiveness was to be offered. However, it doesn't work like that most of the time. And speaking of time, that is not a given. So, if you can, give someone the benefit (if it's not like murder or something). Forgiveness is a dirty whore sometimes, but stick with the process. That is my hope for you as you leave 2017. And with that, the last item on my bucket list was marked off.

Remember to explore more, travel and make memories. See things that set make you put your camera down and breathe in the moment. And as always, you do you.

Anna