Getting Comfortable with Uncomfortable

My favorite time to write is when the weather is raining outside and I am drinking a warm coffee in a new location. I sit here in Jackson Hole at Cowboy Coffee feeling like I am off the grid, yet surrounded by groups of friends, the sounds of espresso machines and a modge pod of Mac computers. And this is my jam. Traveling and writing.  Now, if I just remembered to bring my beanie....

Here is the song I am digging right now. Especially when my friend Kayla has me working hard and thinks sucking wind work is fun. And my current state of mind. #boom

Glorious

I feel like my mojo is coming back. And by mojo, I mean motivation to set a goal. This year I wanted to travel and fall back in love with swimming, biking and running. And I have. My bike and I have crushed items off my bucketlist while exploring Montana and Idaho. I do have a secret love affair with Idaho. I podiumed there in my 70.3 last year (3rd in my AG-HOLLA!), but it's a great place to train.

While my mojo was reappearing, I signed up for a bucketlist race. One I have had my eye on for a couple years. And I was ready to work for it. Then my teammates and friends went and dominated Worlds and then I had the fire lit under me. I was ready to work. Now, just for some clarity, I have worked in the past and somewhat in the present. But, I mean to really push towards some hard goals and get my mental aspect out of it. You know, my Chimp brain (for those of you have read that book!).

So, what does working really hard mean for me? Being asthmatic, I get panicky about breathing. Which, to many is crazy because I love being in the pool and I am usually one of the first out of the water. But, the water has always been a source of calmness and peace for me. Ever since my days having the Laurel pool babysit me all summer for a $1, that I am sure my parents were more than happy to hand over. I remember my dad coming to the pool checking on me to make sure I was alive and making me eat PB & J sammies that he folded through the metal chain link fence. Still a source of comfort food. However, I had to work in the pool to get fast and comfortable. Last year I worked on the bike to get fast (and can always work on that), but this year I wanted to work on the run. Run is where I tend to fall apart on a race, so all the people I passed on the bike, they catch me on the run. And my mental game would suffer.

Being asthmatic is a lot of the reason I train alone. Trying to keep up with someone when all I can think about is oxygen is the worst. But, it many ways it has become a crutch of sorts. A reason to not really push it. Until this year. Until this summer/late fall. I asked for help and quietly shared my goals. I am working on goals and my mental game-which is basically saying "You will not die, just breathe..look you are okay...). Sounds easy. It's not. My first modification on speed made me say those exact things in my intervals. But, then a shift. I focused on what I could control, my breath, my mind. Then we did some speed intervals. Same thing. And it was hard for me and I learned to control what I could and then push through mental and physical limits at the same time. I had been in this comfortable space for so long, I was scared to become uncomfortable. But, that is life, right? Comfortable in your job. Comfortable in a relationship. Comfortable eating shit food. Comfortableness is the death of your dreams and hope for something better for yourself. Don't confuse comfortable for contentment. And the thing is, uncomfortable soon becomes comfortable.

I am ready to make changes and get real. I plan on doing more epic shit, even better. And so far it has been working. Thankful for my friends helping me shoot for hard goals.

Remember to explore and #youdoyou always.